I am sick!  I have been sick off and on (more on than off) since I returned from the States in October.  I have a horrendous cough.  You know, one of the ones where you often lose the contents of your stomach as you try to cough up your toenails.  Two weeks ago the doctor said she thought I had some sort of sinus thing going on and the drainage (*shudder* Oh! hate that word!) is causing me to have an asthma-like reaction… Well, I took all the meds, and have religiously been using my inhaler but I can’t see that it’s made a blind bit of difference. Today I feel worse than ever, I think I actually have a fever now… AND the kids are all sick again. 

You know, I don’t feel like nursing my kids today.  I feel like being nursed myself.  I don’t feel like fetching glasses of water and tissues or doling out the medicine.  I don’t want to make soup for lunch… I don’t even want to eat lunch!  I just want to cuddle up on the couch in my fleecy blanket, put on some cello music and watch the flickering lights on the tree, dozing.  I want someone to make me hot drinks and to stroke my forehead… I want someone to peek in on me while I’m sleeping, just to see that I’m ok.

But no, today, I’m Moma… There must have been many times when my mother felt like I do today.  When she brushed my hair from my face and sang quietly to me despite any discomfort she was in… Today, I want my moma, but I must try to be for my own children what she was for me.  Why do I feel so inadequate?