In September I started realising that we needed to do something different with Hannah’s schooling.  The kids have always done very well in the French speaking school, but by the end of September I was so stressed with Hannah’s work load (2 hours a night of homework… remember she’s 11).  Also, more than ever before, felt like I didn’t have a ‘grip’ on anything.  I can no longer keep up with Hannah & Heidi’s studies (makes it sound like I actually could at one point, doesn’t it?? HA!!), especially the French.  I started realising that Hannah has one more year before she goes to High School (Jr High for those of you trying to keep up from land of the free and the brave) - and High School in French was not something I wanted to endure go through… with 4 kids.  I have to say this is only one of the many reasons that I want (need) to move home, but it is the most pressing for me as a mother.  It would be fair to say that most of the other reasons are either directly or indirectly language related but I won’t bore you with all of them.  I think it is sufficient to say, I took on Belgium… and Belgium won!!

And yes, I did say “home” up there.  I want to go home.  Having lived in Scotland for 17 years, then here for 5.5 - and before that my first 14 years in America, I feel extremely displaced.  I felt very much at home when I was in Scotland and when the question of my nationality would come up, my friends would say “ach, but yur Sco-ish"… Which was fine when I lived there, but here?  What am I here?  Yes, yes… I am American (and always will be), but it’s time to get my dual citizenship.  I will apply for my British passport at the soonest possible date when I arrive back in Scotland.

There, now you know… I am going home.  Packing up my babies and heading back from whence I’ve come.  The offical offer for the house (which by the way we sold ourselves and not though an agency saving us somewhere in the region of 17k euros) was signed over a week ago… and in true Belgian fashion, where nothing is straightforward… the ‘final act’ will be signed on the 21st June.  So to my calculation I have approximately 3 and a half months to get everything sorted for the move.

Words don’t do justice to the stress this whole thing as caused me over the last 4 months, so I am sorry it’s taken me so long to share… I would love to use this space to vent, but it doesn’t seem to work that way for me.  I guess I would rather you see my life though the rose colour glasses that really, honestly just don’t exist.

I guess that will do for now.